When Your Husband Won’t Come To Church

by: Michael Woods | April 24, 2017

What is it with men and church? A recent survey reveals that men make up only 39 percent of the members in a typical congregation. And the percentages hold across the board, for every age category.

Too many women go to church without their husbands. Golf, fishing, sports, or apathy take over Sundays. For some men, it’s passed down generationally. For instance, my dad didn’t see his dad in church on Sunday’s. And to no big surprise, I didn’t see my dad in church very often even though my mom asked the question weekly.

According to Dr. Paul Meier, a nationally recognized Christian counselor, the least likely way to persuade your husband to go to church with your family regularly would be try to make him feel guilty, or anything that might come across as mother to child. So what CAN you do? Here’s 4 effective ideas:

What To Do When Your Husband Won’t Come To Church With You

1. Keep Coming To Church

Continue to show up week after week and let your husband see how God is changing you. Continue to be obedient to God without being unpleasant to your spouse. Don’t judge him or belittle him.

Just as God was patient with you before you decided to follow Jesus and attend church, and the best thing you can do is be patient with your husband.

Your calling is to be God’s representative and draw your husband to a relationship with Jesus. What an incredible role you get to play!

2. Don’t Pressure or Badger Him

When discussing the topic of faith, remember that it’s a personal journey, and you cannot make someone believe what you believe. You can be an example, show love and pray for him, but you can’t force him to accept your faith in Jesus. Don’t badger, pressure, or guilt your husband into attending. That can create resentment and also undermine the genuine faith that you hope he’ll develop on his own.

3. Keep Praying For Your Husband

Ultimately, only Jesus can change your husband. Deciding to follow Jesus and attending church is his decision. Ladies, am I right when I say it doesn’t work as well when you tell your husband something? He has to come to a decision on his own. You can’t change him or save him, but God can.

The power of prayer is incredible, and if you know Jesus, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you and intercedes for you and your husband. It may not seem like you are doing much by “just praying,” but you are going to battle in spiritual warfare for your husband. So don’t give up on your husband or on how God is working in him.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Prov.3:5-6 ESV

4. Let Go and Let God

Make sure you explain to your husband why your faith is important to you. And express how you would love to have a shared commitment to faith. But at some point you need to let go and let God do His work. You’ll have to activate your faith and believe God to draw your spouse unto Him. And don’t lose hope when it seems like nothing is happening. Because when you’ve exhausted all your options and handed it to God, that’s when you realize He has been at work all along.

As a church family, we hope your husband will not only attend church with you, but ultimately, come to know the Lord and grow in a relationship with Him. We believe the best is yet to come for you, your husband, and your marriage.

What would you add to this list of things you can do?

If you want someone to pray for you and your husband specifically, call us. We’d love to pray for you and with you.

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